Below are some passages from The Sun’s recent article on Andy Hill, the pilot involved in the Shoreham Airshow Crash. Following each extract is my analysis. If you struggle to know which passages are mine and which are The Sun’s, mine are those that don’t ooze casual racism and big boobs. The Sun should be renamed “The Islammary Gland”. Now there’s a pun that justifies its own inclusion. So, let’s get down to it (taking on-board all of Deidre’s hottest tips) – Here’s the article and analysis:
Shoreham pilot driving Porsche just 5 months after air crash that killed 11
The pilot of the jet that crashed at last year’s Shoreham Airshow was pictured driving a SPORTS CAR just five months after the disaster that left 11 dead.
I know, I know. I, like you, thought the most sympathetic way to express your condolences was a card or flowers. It turns out it’s not. It’s downgrading your car. You can’t go driving your ”SPORTS CAR” 5 months after some people have died. If you do, it means you’re glad they’re dead and you want to run over their surviving families. For fuck’s sake, could you please, please replace that “SPORTS CAR” with a Volvo? A hearty, good-old-fashioned, red-blooded Volvo. Then, at least, the grieving families may be comforted by the Volvo’s undertones of morning dew on expansive farmland, freshly baked Hovis, and calling a spade a spade (and anyone foreign a “Paki”). Ok, the Volvo isn’t the complete closure the families of the “victims” would get if you took the bus everywhere, but it’s a start. As for why I put “victims” in inverted commas – we need a new word to differentiate between those who have been done deliberate harm by a decisive perpetrator, and those unfortunate souls lost in freak accidents and natural disasters.
Andy Hill, 51, was pictured driving a £40,000 blue Porsche Boxster through Kings Langley, Hertfordshire.
If you live in Kings Langley, and own a blue Porsche Boxster, this will happen from time to time…
The language is casual and relaxed, making the reader subconsciously project those characteristics onto Andy Hill. And the relevance of Kings Langley? Oh what suburban-aspirational-early-retirement-bliss for this undeserving death-causer.
He was left fighting for his life after his 1950s Hawker Hunter jet crashed into the A27 and killed 11 onlookers on August 22 last year.
Fighting? The violent thug! The jet didn’t “kill 11 onlookers” – (We’ve now moved onto war language) – the flames and impact did. And if you feel that’s pedantic, it’s more relevant than the price of the fucking Porsche, and that the Porsche can be subcategorised as a “Boxster”.
The former British Airways pilot spent several weeks in an induced coma but appears to have made a miraculous recovery. Mr Hill was spotted in the car on the same day it was announced that Shoreham Airshow 2016 has been cancelled.
Presumably the induced coma was part of the recovery, no? Or is The Sun claiming medical malpractice? There’s also little need for the word “miraculous” – If I want sarcasm about somebody not dying, I’ve only got to scroll down my Facebook feed to find a Keith Richards meme. Or, the old fashioned way of hearing a Keith Richards joke – simply stand within earshot of a 55 year old male accountant who thinks he is (and always has been) “rock n roll”.
It would’ve been a braver newspaper than The Sun to openly celebrate the pilot’s death, if he’d died. The next best option then, is to bitterly coerce a million witch-hunters into resenting his life, 5 months later.
So Why is “The Sun” so-called? Warmth? No. Light? No. In The Sky? No. The only conclusion I can reach as to why it’s called “The Sun”, is because that’s where you have to go to get as many fucking Liver Spots as its owner Rupert Murdoch.
Pilot Andy Hill was questioned about the accident by Sussex Police in December. Meanwhile, it emerged that victims’ families could face an agonising two-year wait for answers about the crash. Jim Morris, of lawyers Irwin Mitchell, who represent crash survivors, said: “There have been two special bulletins and they are updating families when they can. But families of victims want answers and they look forward to the final report.”
This narrative leap from him driving his car along a road, to victims’ families not getting answers, implicity implicates him for their trauma, trouble and dissatisfaction. What’s he supposed to do? Go back in time, wake earlier from his coma, and conduct the inquest himself? Surely that’d be legal malpractice paralleled only by Manitowoc County Sheriff’s Department? The way The Sun portray this man, he might as well have been spotted driving through King’s Langley in Theresa Halbach’s ’99 RAV4 Toyota. And Steven Avery can be guest of honour at the next Shoreham airshow. He certainly knows how to set cars on fire.
It is abusive for manipulative-influential-clever-people-with-a-voice to capitalise on other people’s innate anger, ignorance and fear to trick them into hating other people, just so they feel they have a “cause” to defend, an allegiance to show, and therefore a newspaper to buy.
Finally, how do we know how this man feels? The details of his recovery, his dealings with the police, his psychological state, his family life, how well he sleeps, and his interactions with the victims’ families?
If we didn’t set so much store by gushing, face-saving, disingenuous “public apologies” then perhaps we wouldn’t presume to condemn this man just for leaving his house.